Psychotherapy/Counseling & My Approach >>>
In working with you, my approach to psychotherapy/counseling is to:
FIRST help you UNCOVER the core causes of your PROBLEM.
For example, you may see or recall yourself repeating behavior patterns or habits that are harming, not helping, your chances at living out the happy life course you want and deserve. Behaviors may be caused by hidden core beliefs such as “You can’t be happy until you make others’ happy.” Or “What’s the matter with you? Stop being so selfish, you know what you want really doesn’t matter that much anyway!” These sorts of core beliefs, though usually not conscious, can trigger waves of painful feelings. These painful feelings if left “undercover” can pull you down into familiar depression, or agitate that old anxiety and leave you crying for relief. The quickest ways to relief you’ve found in the past (like patterns of alcohol or other drug use, or other “quick escapes” like, compulsive eating, shopping, sex, work, fantasy, etc.) usually repeats familiar “high - low” behavior patterns which at first seem like relief, but then lead to more suffering again for yourself and the ones you love. Any previous efforts at establishing true, loving relationships, productive work or other life fulfillments are thus again sabotaged. I want to help you UNCOVER core causes so that suffering self-sabotage is treated for what it must be - no longer an option!
NEXT, help you to DISCOVER roots of dysfunctional PATTERNS of thinking, feeling and acting that have kept you stuck in that never ending “roller coaster” cycle of high hopes followed by dashed dreams. When you are clear about how much these patterns hurt you, you can make a firm decision to give up [work to change] this “cycle of suffering” and to make room for counseling and other needed support to help you do the real work required to CHANGE these dysfunctional life patterns for good.
To help your DISCOVERY, take this quick, easy ACA Counseling Help Inventory
Instructions: Just answer YES or NO to these 20 QUESTIONS:
1. ____ I tend to assume responsibility for others’ feelings and/or actions.
2. ____ I have trouble identifying my feelings- mad, sad, glad, afraid, etc.
3. ____ I have trouble expressing my feelings in healthy ways.
4. ____ I worry how others might respond if I fully express myself.
5. ____ I find myself worrying about or fearing rejection.
6. ____ I have a hard time maintaining close relationships.
7. ____ I deny or minimize how other’s feelings or actions affect me.
8. ____ I tend to be a perfectionist and I tend be very self critical.
9. ____ I have trouble making decisions or sticking to them.
10. ___ I tend to react to what others wants in order to avoid conflict.
11. ___ I tend to put others wants and needs ahead of my own.
12. ___ I tend to value others opinions more than my own.
13. ___ I tend to wonder at what’s normal in relationships.
14. ___ I find it hard to feel vulnerable- like it’s not OK for me to need help.
15. ___ I like being in control, or else I don’t participate.
16. ___ I am extremely loyal, even after others have been disloyal to me.
17. ___ I usually see situations as “black and white,” “all or nothing”
18. ___ In relational chaos I get my “rush” by ‘fixing” or “figuring it out”
19. ___ I find it difficult to develop trust in relationships.
20. ___ I like it where I feel “needed,” but get stuck feeling used/abused.
SCORING: IF you answered YES to FOUR (4) or more questions, OR
IF you grew up (or live or work) around people who act aggressive and controlling to get what they want from you and you want to address that;
IF problems have been ignored or buried under patterns of alcohol or other drug use, or other “escapes” like, compulsive eating, shopping, sex, work, fantasy, etc.
IF you feel unhappy, isolated, anxious, or depressed and you’re ready to change that,
THEN you can benefit from ACA Counseling help. (Please call 925-846-1046 today for an appointment.)
FINALLY after we UNCOVER and DISCOVER the problem, we will be able to FOCUS our work together ON A SOLUTION which you can work to RECOVER your true self, to integrate various methods, “tools,” practices and supports to bring your daily actions and chooses in line with the highest potentials of your true self. I want to help you recover the life you were meant to enjoy living with a full sense of emotional fulfillment, health and well-being.
Experience these benefits from ACA Counseling help. Please call 925-846-1046 today for an appointment.